Someone suggests the wonderfully apt word procrasturbate in a letter to Dan Savage. I suspect I don’t need to explain it, but just in case, I’m including the Savage Love letter:
I came up with an amazing word, and I have been trying like hell to get it into the dictionary: procrasturbation. It means “to waste time pleasuring yourself.” I wrote Merriam-Webster back in 2004—here is the response I got: “Your coinage is clever, but I’m afraid that cleverness is not the criterion on which a word is entered into our dictionaries… For ‘procrasturbate’ to be entered, it will need to appear in a number of well-read print sources for a good number of years. When we’ve collected enough citations for the word, we will enter it into our dictionary.”
Help me out, Dan, by using “procrasturbate” in your column.
Organically Enters Dictionary
“Procrasturbate” is genius, OED, but appearing in my column isn’t going to get it into the dictionary. “Santorum” has appeared in this space and other well-read print sources for years, and it hasn’t seeped into Merriam-Webster’s yet. I call shenanigans.
For those who don’t know the provenance of the word santorum, read more about it here.